Hi earthlings .

This post would probably express my feelings out perhaps .

I just doesn't know how i feel now .

And i don't even know what do i want .

I stress , depress , sad , hurt enough .

Totally enough .

People knows i don't bias , i side the right side .

Yes , i might get some difficult in between of everything .

But do you think i want ?

Currently , i'm not afraid to let you all know .

This morning , was out with my boyfriend .

And i got the feeling that , i feeling fade towards him .

I even tell him , and tell him it might not be true .

I don't know why , is it the devil doing the ugly job ?

I just thinks that i don't love him as much as i usually do .

I really cried , i craving more kiss from him .

To let myself not to feel that uneasy feelings .

I really wants to cry out loud , and let Lord to save me .

But is it even able to save ?

At the evening , it's like suddenly .

I love my boyfriend alot , and i told him .

IT'S NOT a feeling fade .

It's not !

It's not .

It's not ...

I hope it's really not .

Writing this post let me drop much tears , even now .

I really hope God would help me .

It's not about him , it's about me .

I love him .

I don't know what's my feelings doing .

Why does everything came in together ?

I'm not strong ..

I'm strong enough ..

I'm totally not strong ..

Please save me from the edge , before i would fall down the deep trap .

Now , whatever i wants to do .

Is to die .

It's been so long since i thinking about die .

Because i used to think of die everytime ..

And anything i do .

I wants to MIA 2days , and have a think about everything .

Please don't contact me .

But before i MIA this 2days .

I would write some notes for some of you .

Sebastian (Boyfriend) :

Hi dear . :)

I really thanks you for giving me that lovely piglet for my X'mas .

You're the first guy that buys me X'mas present .

I really appreciate alot .

I love you , deeply .

Truly , i never ever think of cheating on you anymore .

Because you're my Mr . Right .

People said , now my feelings became like that ,

Maybe is because our time is out up soon .

But no , i won't .

I won't ever let this happen .

But just let me cool down for 2days .

Don't contact me , let me think about it and let me decide everything over and over again .

I hope i would find out the answer using this 2days .

I love you alot , wait for me k :)

I wants to make miracle around us .

I wants to make things possible .

It's not the end .

I just want you to be perfect in my eyes .

But you know me , although i put boyfriend first .

But i can't throw my other love ones aside .

I need every of you .

I just hope you won't show faces , attitudes .

I hope you would change this two things because of me .

Because i wants you to bond with my other loves .

I hope you would change .

Don't think too much .

I love you . <3

Samuel (Brother) :

Don't feel sad that you say anything wrong .

Nah you didn't . :)

I just being a crybaby crying for nothing .

Don't think too much okay ?

You're always the best brother i had in my life . :)

Yes , i wasn't really happy of what you done .

You know what ?

Which is got things , and refuse to tell me just that you scared i would felt difficult .

You say you doesn't wants me to be difficult ,

And just wanted to walk away .

But hello ? You're still my close ones .

Seeing you like that , do you think i would just let you walk away like that ?

I wants everyone of you to be happy .

Not sad , moody because of something .

I wants you all to bond and be close .

I understand your feelings .

I hope you understand mine too ..

Emily (Darling) :

Hi darling , looks like i've to pangseh you for two days again .

Sorry okay ? I hope you can forgive me .

Hope you would be fine and also happy always . :)

I hope that no one attitude you too .

If that person attitude and made you moody .

Tell me okay !

I'll be up for you .

But after 2days :)

Sorry , really need a rest this few days . :(

Smile .

Haishan (Bestie) :

Hi bestie , thanks for cheering me up in message when i'm stress .

And do stupid thing to make my laugh although it's not funny at all .

This two days won't be going out because stress ah .

You should know de .

Hais , stay happy . :)

Kelly (Sweetlove) :

Hi sweetlove , i know we're close for a few days and now i need MIA again .

I just abit stress .

Didn't know did you change your attitude not .

Someday i wanna see again haha .

Don't sad over guys okay .

Especially those that made you cry like dog .

Haha ok laaa stay happy :)

Sylvia (Sweetheart) :

Hi sweetheart .

This few days i would emo abit ah .

Sorry , and won't be meeting you .

Hope you'd be fine .

Stay happy , and sorry for the things that i done to you .

I really sorry and guilty .

I didn't know whether you forgive me alr not .

I hope you do , but if haven't .

I understand :)

Seeya soon :)

After this 2days . I would change myself to a new person .

Please wait for me .

And don't contact me ,

Messages i won't reply ,

Calls i won't answer .

And please simply don't call my house or come up my house and find me .

I already said here clearly , give me a break .

For just these days .

Thanks ..